How to Support a Partner

Listen, be patient and do not judge.

  • Affirm your partner and your support consistently.
  • Deal with your feelings on your own and/or seek out your own support system (including counseling – see Trauma Therapy); do not lean on your partner to support you. She/he is unable to do that right now or about her/his own abuse.
  • Do not pressure your partner to engage in sex or any sexual activity she/he is uncomfortable with at any time. Allow she/he to let you know what is comfortable and what is not as well as the timeframe that is comfortable for her/him. This does not have to do with you, but with the past abuse.
  • Pay attention to possible triggers – did her/his behavior change when you touched her/him a certain way? Ask (without judging). Certain behaviors and/or touch will be triggering.
  • Be patient. Seek counseling to gain support.
  • Research about survivors of sexual abuse and/or assault.

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